Borrowed words

Stark truth...loved it!!

If you forget me

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine.

~ Pablo Neruda

its been a while. and somehow wasn't exactly compelled to put anything down. that tells something. was ruing over the fact, how I can view myself so objectively these days. Its like I step out, and look me over, sometimes with disdain and at times with a slight tinge of pride! whatever, the thing is its weird at times too, that I get to appraise myself and pat myself on doing a good job. the truth is, the sad truth is im beginning to be a proper person! not being my quirky impy self! the part seems to be going through a slow degeneration process...i catch sight of it, at times. like i can say the last sighting was on ....stuff! hmm... evolution i guess, a layer comes off, and you don another...ve been watching these nat. geo specials..and love it, and hence the biological reference too. catch myself smiling, when i imagine a refined, dignified, bespectacled, person with a dash of elan and grace...going about her job methodically(!!!), not bad i would think!!

These rounded figures with colours orange, green and grey seems to play havoc at times with the mind. Remarkable, the power of imagination, suggestion, expectation....

At a stage, when looking at my kids, wonder what would they turn out to be?! Our parents must ve wondered too, and right now what I feel is a sense of foreboding even at times; i mean its really a miracle at work, the process of a being, being built, sculpted, etched, moulded and to arrive, if not finally, at something you refer to as a 'fully-grown' individual!! And its strange how the work of genes come into play, springing up surprises, sometimes pleasant and sometimes not. You can't actually predict, the 'outcome' with a vague blue print you think you hold in your hand! Even leads me to believe that inspite of being our flesh and blood, their mind, their whims, their fancies and yes their feelings can never be a replica of ours, and its insane to harbour such hopes, that seem to raise its hood from within! Yes, reminded of Gibran's quotes, "Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,..." which seems to quell or hush my incomprehensible misgivings for a while, and instill a sense of peace and sublimation; but, yes there is this niggling fear, if and when they turn out to be strangers, its gonna hurt, real bad! ofcourse they definitely will be, in phases, and just hope the phases are not long!
Whoa! What a depressing bemoaning what-might-happen-n-if-it-does-o-what-shall-i-do scenario! But guess, we women do indulge in it once in a while, trying to put things in perspective, ofcourse what is to be done for the next hour can wait, this HAS to be thought over! And actually it all started out from a sad but stark truth, my younger one needs massive cajoling to read, a truth that seems to jeer or rather sneer at me from behind dark curtains every night!!